JUDGEMENT IS OFFERING A GIFT
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. Matthew 7:3-5
Many people believe this passage, which includes ‘judge not lest you be judged’, means don’t judge. It sort of does mean that, but in my interpretation it is saying clean up your own act, use judgement for insight, stop there, don’t take any steps with judgement polluting your intentions. Let the mote in thy brother’s eye help you see yours. This whole idea that being a good person, a good Christian means we should be nice, be positive and don’t judge leads to a world of hurt. We humans are much more complex than that. We have dark sides and light sides and when we start disowning any part of ourselves we get other people to carry our dark (or light) sides and then judge them for being too dark (or too positive). We also manifest events that happen to shake us awake to our humanity and the conditional love we have toward ourselves and others. I am not a fan of shoulds. The truth is the more we embrace all parts of ourselves in a transformative way the happier and more in our heart we become. The global psyche is in the process of being shaken awake, spiritually, yes, definitely, but also to our inner workings.
Judgement is a gift. It can be one of the best ways to get a clue as to the workings of our psyche, places that are quite a mystery to us and are adversely affecting our lives. When we point a finger at something three fingers are pointing back at us, be it a person, a corporation, a government or a building that is being judged. Judgement can help find that which we would normally be blind to. Don’t get me wrong, what the finger is pointing at can be very wrong but if we want to heal our wounds and have a clean relationship to what we are pointing at we must take the journey to find how it is that it lives in us. Judgement that is worked with and owned will be transformed from being critical of to showing good judgement. Life is our mirror, where we focus is where the reflection lies.
I witnessed an acquaintance of mine talking to someone he was trying to persuade over to his side. The man was part of a group fighting to save an old growth forest. A noble cause, but as I listened I saw a man who thought the way to win a discussion was to run right over the person he was talking to. He was pushy, arrogant and self-righteous. He definitely needed to own his inner bulldozer and clear cutter and see how he treats himself in this way. Painful.
A friend asked if a friend of hers could stay with me while he was visiting the area. He was an activist fighting the clear cutting of forests. He was very passionate. We were in my backyard and he was telling me about what was going on in Alaska. He had on heavy work boots. Not paying attention to what he was doing as he passionately expounded on what was going on he stepped into my garden smashing plants. I basically told him he was currently clear cutting my plants and to please get back on the path. Later he made a fairly lengthy call on my landline. It turned out it was long distance. He did not pay for that phone call. This man needed to own his own destructiveness, self- entitlement and insensitivity to his surroundings, some of the very issues at play in the clear cutting he was judging and fighting.
I could go on and on. Once you see this, you cannot unsee it. As I said these are righteous, beautiful causes, I commend the people who take them on, but, what if we take a leap and ask ‘are these causes sacrificial lambs for the purpose of informing and freeing us?’. It feels like that to me. We need these mirrors until we don’t. If that is the case, an entire collective of humans unaware of their inner demons could certainly create a nightmare of havoc begging them to awaken. That amount of energy could even conjure up ‘demons’. Physicality is energy made manifest. Our un-chartered inner territory is pure, untamed energy. If you are willing to take this leap with me it becomes clear that we cannot hope to change the plight of the world when our inner world is, in fact, creating our outer world.
Try this out, the next time you are judging with feeling. Stop for a moment. Ask yourself ‘how does this same dynamic exist in me?’. It can be an actual way of being
or a fear you carry around that you are this way. It doesn’t matter. Or you could be over compensating for something because of your fear of being this way. It’s all energy and it wants our attention. It is sometimes enough of a blind spot that it is not easy to access. In this case I suggest asking for it to be revealed and listen with your spiritual ear for guidance. The revealing will come.
If you begin to see judgement as a tool and not just something we humans do to each other, you start seeing the magic of inner transformation and sometimes you get to witness how it changes the outer. If we are honest with ourselves we know judgement does not feel good, it is a false power, whereas owning judgement is empowering in the truest of ways. Looking honestly in the mirror of judgement can feel difficult at first and challenging to the ego but in the end helps build a stronger sense of self. When you have done this work you can look at something that is wrong, know that it is wrong and do something about it without any inner trip wires.
Art: Collaborative painting Cindy Bilotti and Katherine Treffinger ‘The Ugly Duckling’ www.katherinetreffinger.com www.ourlivingdream.com